StartUp Founders: Toxic vs. Diva
Dear Reader,
Toxic employees kill companies.
Nope.
Mediocre employees do.
If you truly, deeply, obsessively care about what you’re building… you’ve probably been called toxic, probably even felt a little toxics.
But there’s a world of difference between destructive behavior (toxic) and productive intensity (diva energy).
If caring too much, pushing too hard, and refusing to lower your standards makes someone a diva? Then yeah. Hire more of them.
intensity ≠ toxicity
What people really mean when they say diva is that you cared more than they were comfortable with. Sounds like a “them” problem.
You give a ridiculous number of f’s about things most people think don’t matter. You argue over details. You obsess over edge cases. You go quiet when the quality’s off. You blow up when the standards drop. You push. You demand. You don’t let it slide.
You’re not toxic. You’re obsessed. And obsession makes people uncomfortable. So they label it.
Great founders are rarely easy to work with.
The first diva is always the founder. Your job is to hire the second.
Stop Confusing Discomfort with Dysfunction
The people who take your startup from zero to one, like you, are rarely easy to manage.
They dissent. They push. They challenge. They lay it all on the table not to feed their ego, not to be right, not to have an opinion on everything, but to build something better.
Some of the most talented, driven people are the hardest to work with. That intensity often correlates directly with exceptional results. If you let it.
So yeah. Hire the divas who make people uncomfortable. Because it’s way easier to say nothing, collect the paycheck, and not challenge the founder during standup.
You don’t want passive agreement. You have to fight for aligned obsession.
- The best people will often make others uncomfortable. They expose mediocrity.
- Intensity is contagious. Standards rise when someone refuses to lower theirs.
- You are diva 001 and you can’t expect your team to care even close to as much as you do, but the best ones, sure do try.
- A-players want to work with other A-players, not just nice people who underperform.
If you’re hiring for comfort, you’re cannot be building for impact.
- Giving fucks doesn’t make you an asshole.
- Not having a safe space to give those fucks? That’s what creates one.
Culture Isn’t Chill. It’s Aligned Obsession.
People don’t burn out from hard work. They burn out from working with people who don’t care.
Culture eats strategy for breakfast… only applies when culture means something.
Not free snacks. Not surface-level positivity. Def not “easy to work with.”
Real culture is when everyone swims in the same direction, with the same mission. Where standards are upheld. Together.
That kind of culture – one that demands excellence is not comfortable. But nothing great ever comes from comfortable.
So again. You get labeled.
Because great founders, building great teams, don’t operate at the same pace or intensity as everyone else. You just have to accept that.
When someone’s constantly pushing, challenging, working obsessively. It’s not ego. It’s ownership. And on the things they see clearly, they’re probably not wrong.
Diva vs. Toxic: The Line Is Simple
I had a whole section here. Bullet points. Emojis. The works. Deleted it. It’s simpler than that:
Toxic people care more about being right. Divas care more about getting it right.
Toxicity shows up in double standards, blame, manipulation, and quiet sabotage. Divas are passionate and loud and animated. But they’re passionate, loud and animated for the mission.
What matters is the environment you build. You either enable dissent, passion, and raised voices… or you suppress the very intensity your company needs.
The market doesn’t care about team harmony. It cares about whether you ship something that works, scales, and wins. Which ironically requires team harmony.
And just to be clear – don’t misread this. This isn’t “Beast Mode Tech Bro” energy. This is aligned obsession with the mission. And it takes a few quirky, intense traits to manifest it.
If you’re truly building something great, you won’t always be easy. And the people who can keep up with you? They won’t be easy either.
Hire the divas. Not the drama. Not the ego. But the ones with unreasonable standards, sharp opinions, and deep conviction.
They’ll push your culture forward. They’ll make your product better. And they’ll hold the line when you’re too tired to.
Uncomfortably yours,
As always, if I can be of service, feel free to grab time.
LFG.
— James (Diva 001)